Lyrics Analyst. I should get paid for this.

Look at this.  No seriously, LOOK AT THIS.  These lyrics, y'all, holy cats, how they make me laugh:

Scene:  slightly pervy-looking, middle-aged man, in oversized, Jim-Jones-esque sunglasses, likely with a cigarette hanging out of his lips. 

"I love little baby ducks
Old pickup trucks
Slow movin' trains
And rain..."

What the fuck IS this?  You know you are intrigued.  Because, how many times do you get to hear a Jim-Jones-looking dude singing about little baby ducks?

"I love little country streams
Sleep without dreams
Sunday school in May
And hay..."

Sleep without dreams?  That's super weird.  Good dreams, yes, but... holy shit, did he say "hay"??  (yes, yes, he did.  hahahaha.)

 "And I love you too."

Um... thanks...

"I love leaves in the wind
Pictures of my friends
Birds of the world
And squirrels..."

Why not, "hanging with my friends" or something?  Why pictures of?  Because he murdered them and has them chopped up in pieces in his basement freezer?  Also, perhaps I've been watching too many episodes of Snapped.  Holy crap, who REALLY loves squirrels???

"I love coffee in a cup
Little fuzzy pups
Bourbon in a glass
And grass..."

Well.  Now it is all starting to make sense.  Because you and I both know what he is saying about 'grass,' right?  RIGHT?  Also, I love to put bourbon in my cup of coffee, so I guess this verse is where this song starts to really resonate with me...

"And I love you too."

Awww, shah.

"I love honest open smiles
Kisses from a child
Tomatos on a vine
And onions"

Told you he was pervy.  What the hell, onions?  God, you know what I love?  THIS FREAKING SONG.

"I love winners when they cry
Losers when they try
Music when it's good
And life"

Not sure he would really love this song, just saying.  But, I mean, life, well, yeah, I mean, I'm pro-living...

"And I love you too."

For what it is worth, I spent $1.30 on this song today, primarily so I can drive my kids batshit by playing it on the repeat a dozen times.  I have to admit it gets stuck in my head, though, and has for years.

I like to make up my own lyrics:

"I love monkeys in the car
Sidling up to the bar
And swimming
And I love you too!"