Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Old Old Old Lady

Know what is TOTALLY hot?  Runners.  Running girls, with sweaty ponytails, mismatched running clothes, a band of plastic strapped around their chest (that's for the heart rate monitor), a plastic watch (it's a Garmin, shut up.)

No, no, I am not going to pretend I am running again, but... I have run 1.69 miles each day for the last two days.  And that stupid watch thinks I ought to be hitting 9 minute miles (For.  Real.) so I've actually really been trying hard.  To hit 12 minute miles, which is much more my speed.  Literally.

And this is the antithesis to what I would prefer to be doing, which is either playing Wii Jeopardy (the only show I miss on tv.) or working on my puzzle.  Holy eff, I am 100 years old.

At any rate, so yeah, I've been running.  Ish.  I'd like to see what kind of distance I can get up to, but I'm still struggling with figuring out when to run.  I could run after work, but then the kids don't eat until seven.  Or, I could run after supper, but I'm so tirrrrrred.  Wah fucking wah, hunh?

So the watch was my Big Christmas Present, and it's pretty great.  I also got some books, some money, some gift cards.  Good stuff.  A donut maker, and that's sort of unexpected, but it's red, ergo, cute.

The Russian contingency is BACK and I'm super pysched, but I haven't seen them yet or snuggled my new nephew (who is, apparently, rather snuggly) so that sort of sucks, but I'm a few short days of getting that fixed.  Come on, Saturday!

And I have nothing else, which means, time for kittens!  WAIT NO - look, this is my favorite dog in the whole wide world (except my gay boyfriend's dog, Bradley, because he is family.):

Friday, December 23, 2011

Giver of Cheer. Receiver of Cheer, actually.

I have had a truly remarkable week.  After being propositioned by a (perhaps) Indian man on Monday, it has only gone uphill.

A boy told me that he thinks I'm pretty, which, you know?  Definitely a nice thing to hear.  Definitely the highlight of my week.

Other than all that, we had our choir Christmas party and we had band practice, and the artist formerly known as my husband and I are legally separated and that's GOOD BUT WEIRD TOO, and his mom has Doodlebug but she is bringing him to me today, so that's good, too.

It's just weird.

But anyway, today was Christmas-at-work day, and I got some nice, nice things:
1) A new rosary (nicer than the one I bought myself, and good nuns have multiples, so I'm in good shape.)
2) Two candles
3) An ornament
4) A big, fabulous LSU hoodie.  FREAKING LOVE IT.
5) A gift certificate to Applebees, about which I am a little meh, because, you know?  yuck.  Applebees.  But still, free meal.
6) A few other little things from my friends.

I have nice friends at work.  Makes me happy.

The good stuff starts tomorrow, and I'm excited.  Christmas is my favorite.  For real.

I'll fill you in later.

In the meantime, Happy Christmas Adam, Eve tomorrow, and glorious day on Saturday.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Receptionist, or... hooker, it would seem

I wear a lot of different hats at my place d'emploi.  I am the HR girl, the Finance girl, the shredder girl, the IT girl, you name it.  I also answer the phones.

Now, please note, we have a handful of full time staff, including several office people and then four guys that work out in the hall (it's a big place.)

We also hire part timers, usually to work nights and weekends, when we have events.  Because that's what we do at my work. 

So last summer, we hired this girl, I'll call her Brittany (because that is her name.)  Pretty much immediately after we hired her, she started getting called by what I can only guess is a bill collector that has been outsourced to a call center in the middle east somewhere.  I'm guessing India.

I took a message for Brittany once or twice, but then I told them that this was not a good number for her, she can't take calls here, etc.  Bastards were persistent, and they called back several more times, and I was emphatic that they May Not Call Here anymore.  And eventually, they stopped calling.

Note, Brittany does not work here any more.

Okay, so yesterday?  I answer the phone, and HEY LOOK BRITTANY IS BACK ON THEIR SHIT LIST.  So this happened:

"Hello, may I please speak to Britt-i-an-ee?"

"Let me speak to your boss."



"That's none of your business!"

There was a pause, and then,

"Hello, this is boss"

(hi, Peggy.)

"Listen.  I have told you that you cannot call here anymore, you cannot reach Brittany at this number.  She does not even work here any more."

"Look.  I am going to call you as much as I want to.  What is it that you are going to do about it?"

"I am going to CALL THE POLICE."

"Well, I want to fuck you."



"Yeah, I want to fuck you.  What is it that you are going to do about it?"

"Don't ever call here again."

And I hung up the phone.

O.  M.  G.  WHAT is that???  WHO does that? 

Unfortunately, there is no caller ID for me to report to the po po, and I don't even know they name of the company, so no good is to come of this and I cannot really report this without any of that information, but...  I really, really hope they call back.

I also am kicking my own ass because I didn't respond with "Really?  Because I usually only like to fuck your holy precious cows."

Or at the very least, "Oh?  What are you wearing?  A sari?  Me TOO!"

God, I swear.

And yes, there is a teensy part of me that totally went, inside my head, "Mama's still got it going on."

Tuesday, December 13, 2011


At work, we do this annual pToysforTotsp give-away (that's so I cannot be googled.  Such a smart girl, me.)

We have collected almost 3,000 toys, not joking.  It's great.  It's awesome.  I have drawn a line through the barcode of almost 3,000 toys.  : /

I'll love it, I always do, but the toy giveaway starts tomorrow at 4:00, and I'm scared.  I'm already tired.  I'll be at work probably until close to midnight, and though there will be food a'plenty, I usually go to bed by 8:30.  At the latest.


Pray for me.  It's worth it.  Kids get happy tomorrow.

I get happy too, but also tired.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Little bit of awesome.

Have I told you I am addicted to bingo?  I freaking am, and I'm disgusted by this trivial little fact, but it is what it is.

Also, have I told you that I started running again... sort of?

What I mean to say is, I ran a mile and a half, twice, this week.  Which is 3 miles more than last week (I am very good at math.)

In other news, my brother and his family are in Russia to get their second child.  Which is absolutely FANTASTIC.  But I'm ready for them to be home.

And the baby was home sick yesterday, and he announced that he is allergic to pickles (snicker) and babies.

"But I don't wike them," he said.  "Yes, but you are not allergic," I said.

And I read freaking Upton Sinclair's OIL! and didn't stop mid-way and declare that I hated it this time.

That's how awesome I am.