Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Judy's Best Friend

Oh, lawdy.  Fun times in Georgia.  I'm not even kidding.  Remind me to tell you about "The Cuban," and also about the sunglasses, and how I got to go to that Titanic Exhibit, the one where you get a boarding pass when you walk in and find out if you died.  (I did not die, but my husband did.  So.)  And Don'tAskDon'tTell, who is my very best gay boyfriend in the whole world, I got to see him, and he showed me pictures of his cat, and... anyway...

But that's not what we are here to discuss, right now.  We are here to discuss going to the Publix Grocery Store with me.

Because Janie, well, she knows how this is going to roll.

On Friday, it occurred to us that we did not have enough diet coke for me.  And yes, I'll admit it, I'm a diet coke glutton, only I prefer the word "fan."

Anyway.

So, we decided to go to the Publix.

Now, Publix, she is a nice grocery store.  Not Harris-Teeter-fancy, and Publix can't touch The Rouse, where they give me free wine while I shop (not kidding.  God, Louisiana is heaven.), but Publix, it's pretty nice.  Beats Kroger, I think.

So.  We go to Publix, and get our stuff (diet coke.  beer.  sweetwater blue, because Jesus loves Georgia.), and we get to the checkout, where our checkout girl, a 22-ish girl, had a name tag that read, "Judy."

:)

Here we go.

"Oh, your name is Judy?"  I ask.  "HER name is Judy, too!"  And I point at Janie.

"It is?"  Judy asks.  "I was named after my great-aunt."

"You WERE?"  I ask.  "SHE WAS NAMED AFTER HER GREAT-AUNT, TOO!!!!"

Janie is nodding in confirmation.

Janie's name, by the way?  Seriously is not Judy.

Anyway,  I continue, "What's your middle name?"

Judy says, "LaDawn."

Almost.  I almost did it.  I really, really wanted to, but I could feel Janie staring holes in me, willing me to not go there.

"Oh, that's pretty," I say.  "Her middle name is Anne."

Sigh.

God damn.  I was so very close to playing this all the way out.

Seriously, me and Judy, we are one fine team.

I love that Judy girl.  Even though I now really want to call her LaDawn.

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