Thursday, January 24, 2013

Don't Poop On Me

My bigger child is the person in my life who provides me with the most entertainment, I think.  Every day or two, he sends me a link, usually to a video (these are teenagers.  they SUBSCRIBE to youtube channels.  I mean, that's just weird.)  Anyway, lately, there have been some excellent examples.

I give to you, ham.  Dayum.

At least twice a day, my coworkers and I will look at each other and tenderly say, "I wish you could smell, what I'm smellin'."

The gift that keeps on giving.

Kid has also introduced me to Jenna Marbles.  She definitely cracks me up, and now I say "GET THE FUCK OUT, ADELE" on a regular basis.  HAHA.

And then, this week, we were gifted with this.  A parrot.  If you don't know, I motherfuckingHATEbirds, but if I DID have to have a bird, and I never would, mind you, because birds are motherfuckingDISGUSTING, but if I DID, it would be a parrot that had a potty mouth.  I would teach it to say the worst phrases I know, the most nasty and off-putting, particulary, "cunt-licker" and "ass-fucker."  Because I can.

Could.  I won't, though, because I will never get a bird, because birds are motherfuckingDISGUSTING, and guess what?  THEY CANNOT CONTROL THEIR BOWELS.

I'm pretty sure this guy discovered that lack of control, and uttered a phrase, a phrase that also will live with you for days to come, and listened to his parrot echo it back.  Note, this might be a Macaw.  AS IF I CARE.

Don't poop on me.  FUCKING SHIT.

Don't poop on me.

My god, how I love that phrase.  FUCKING SHIT rocks, too, and that this bird sounds like Pacino just makes me all the happier.

In other news of video-viewing, I finally finished Dawson(GoodGodIWishINeverStartedThatStupidEndeavor) and have moved on to The West Wing.  MUCH more respectable and far less likely to make me hate myself for watching.  The music isn't as good, but the characters are so good.  I want Jeb Bartlett for president.  Fuck it.  Also, I like to think of myself as a Donna at work.  In real life, I might be more like Mya's assistant on that one show with David Spade and Mya's dad owns a magazine and is an idiot?  Right, you know what I mean, right?

Fast Forward to 5:45.  Best moment in adminning EVER.  EVER.

Alas, I have to go work and cannot watch more videos.  Happy Thursday, everybody.  If Death stops by, I'll let you know.

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