Maker of lists

Reasons why I enjoy being no-longer-married:

1. I can lie down sideways on my bed.
2. Nobody gives me any shit for my love of "Dance Moms."  Except Beanie, but the hell with him.
3. Toilet paper lives ON the roll.
4. Speaking of toilet paper, we go through like half as much as we used to go through.  I DO NOT KNOW WHY.
5. On nights when the big kid has youth group, I only have to really feed the baby, since I'm not huge on eating, anyway.  So bologna sandwiches!
6. Back to the bathroom, only girls use my bathroom.  FAR LESS WIPING DOWN OF THE TOILET.
7. Wine.
8. Seven o'clock damn well is bedtime, if I say it is.
9. 1/2 the laundry.  None of it smells like Not-House-of-Pancakes.
10. Old friends.  Some of whom may or may not be male.  All of whom really do make me smile.
11. I can hang up any god damn art where I choose.
12. My groceries now live where they ought.
13. TWO CLOSETS.
14. If I want a lighter, there is likely to be one in my pocket.  And in my purse.  And in my car.
15. Pretty undies?  Sure.  Pretty jammies?  Oh, fuck that. 
16. Girls, you want to talk on the phone, you just call me.  Some boy will want my attention, but I can prioritize differently, now.
17. Beanie knows how to use the grill, so it's all good.
18. Corn without butter.
19. No leftover clam chowder in the sink.  Ick.
20. Socks are all in the hampers.  ALL of them.

Things I can do without:

1. Killing bugs.  I can do this, but it sucks.
2. Putting gas in the car.  It sucks.
3. Paying the bills.  It sucks.
4. Fixing broken shit.  Like doorknobs.  Sucks.
5. Better not puke.  Nobody to hold my hair.

I think I'll keep working on this list.  I'll update it as I think of things.